Guide
Dating Profile Tips: Write a Profile People Want to Answer
Use recent photos, open with something only you would say, be honest about what you want, and end with a question.
A good profile starts the conversation for you
A dating profile that gets replies has three to five recent photos, led by a clear, smiling face shot, a first line that sounds like you and nobody else, a few specific details about your life, and an honest line about what you’re looking for. Keep it short and warm, and make it easy to answer.
That’s most of it. The rest of this guide shows how, with example bios for men and women, first lines you can adapt and a list of what to leave out. When you’re ready to meet, our dating guides take it from there.
What gets a profile answered
- Lead with your best recent face photo: smiling, looking at the camera, no sunglasses.
- Make the first line specific. A detail beats an adjective every time.
- Say what you want, be it a relationship, friendship or something casual.
- End with something easy to reply to, such as a question.
- Choose a username that doesn’t give away your surname.
Which photos should you use on a dating profile?
Your photos are the first thing anyone looks at, so they do more work than any line you write. Three to five is plenty, with your best face shot first.
Photos that work
- Pictures from the last year or two
- A clear face shot, smiling at the camera
- One full-length photo
- One of you doing something you enjoy: walking the dog, cooking, out on a bike
- Daylight wherever you can, ideally outdoors
Photos to skip
- Sunglasses, hats or anything that hides your eyes
- A group shot as your first picture, which leaves people guessing which one is you
- Photos with an ex cropped out
- Filters that change your face
- Anything out of focus or taken in a dark bar
How do you write a good first line on a dating profile?
The first line decides whether anyone reads the second. Swap the general for the specific, and write the way you’d talk to someone at a party.
| Instead of | Try something like |
|---|---|
| “I love to travel.” | “Still recovering from the sleeper train to Fort William, and I’d do it again tomorrow.” |
| “I’m easy-going and down to earth.” | “Sunday plan: a long walk, a bacon roll and the crossword, in that order.” |
| “I like going out and staying in.” | “Happiest at a pub quiz, where I’m hopeless on sport and unbeatable on 90s pop.” |
| “Just ask.” | “Tell me the best thing you’ve eaten this month and I’ll tell you mine.” |
| “No time wasters.” | “I’m after something that lasts, so I’d love to meet for a coffee once we’ve chatted.” |
Read your bio out loud before you save it. If it sounds like a CV, start again.
Dating profile examples you can borrow from
Four short bios for four different people. Borrow the shape, not the words: the details have to be yours.
A man in his 30s, living in the city
“Engineer by day, keen but chaotic cook by night. I live near the park and run round it most mornings, slowly. Weekends are for markets, a decent pub and finding somewhere new to walk. Looking for someone to share a table with, and maybe a lot more. What does your perfect Sunday look like?”
Why it works: specific details, a bit of self-mockery and a question to answer.
A woman over 45, starting again
“Two grown-up children, one daft spaniel and a garden I’m slowly winning back. Divorced a while, happy with life and ready to share it. I love a long lunch, a good thriller and a walk by the sea in any weather. Hoping to meet a kind, funny man for something long-term. Tell me about the last place that made you stop and stare.”
Why it works: it answers the obvious questions in a line and sounds settled, not sad.
A man in his 50s
“Widowed, 56, and finally ready to go out to dinner again. I teach woodwork, play bad golf on Saturdays and make a proper Sunday roast. My daughters say I’m a good listener; I say I’ve had plenty of practice. Looking for someone warm to share walks, weekends and the odd trip away.”
Why it works: honest about his past without dwelling on it, and you can picture his week.
Someone after something casual
“Busy job, no time for games, plenty of time for fun. I’m 38, flirty and partial to a late drink somewhere with low lighting. I’m not after anything serious right now, and I’d rather say so. If you like confidence and a bit of chemistry, say hello.”
Why it works: clear about what they want, and suggestive without giving everything away.
Each of these is under 70 words, which is about right: enough to give someone a reason to write, short enough to read on a phone.
Be honest about what you’re looking for
Being vague about what you want is the quickest way to lose a few weeks. If you’re after a relationship, say so. If you want something casual, say that. Encounters.uk matches people partly on what they’re after, whether casual, long-term or friendship, so being clear puts you in front of people who want the same.
It also helps to be in the right section. Want a relationship? Single Encounters is the place. Over 40? Try Mature Encounters. After something casual and grown-up? That’s Casual Encounters. And Milf Encounters, our newest section, brings older women and younger men together.
What’s a good username for a dating site?
Encounters.uk shows other people your username and the nearest town to you, while your real name and email stay with you. That makes your username the first thing anyone calls you, so it’s worth a minute’s thought. A good one is:
- easy to read and say out loud
- friendly, never crude
- a hint of you, such as a hobby, a place you love or a food you can’t resist
- clear of your surname, your birthday and any handle you use on social media
So “AllotmentAnna” or “SundayRoastSam” works, and your full name with your year of birth doesn’t. Reusing your Instagram handle makes you easy to look up, which you may not want before a first date.
What should you leave out of a dating profile?
- Your surname
- Where you work
- Your address
- Your phone number
- A list of dealbreakers
- Your ex
- Anything you’d hate your mum to read
The list of dealbreakers is the big one. “No drama, no time wasters, no liars” tells a stranger more about your last relationship than about you, so say what you do want instead. Keep contact details off your profile and out of your first messages too: you can keep chatting on the site until you’re ready to share a number.
And leave out the essay. If someone wants your career history, they’ll ask on the first date.
How do you refresh a dating profile that’s gone quiet?
If the messages have dried up, there’s no need to start from scratch. Work through these six changes, then give it a couple of weeks.
- Change your first photo. A new face shot is the change people notice first.
- Rewrite your opening line. Swap one general phrase for one specific detail.
- Post something. A status update or a new photo shows you’re around and gives people a reason to comment.
- Log in often. Daily match suggestions take into account how recently people were active.
- Widen your age range a little. A few years either way can bring in people you’d have liked.
- Send the first message. Choose three profiles you like and mention something you read on each.
Still stuck? Our guide to meeting singles in the UK has twelve ways to meet people, online and off, and our first date ideas will help when the replies start coming in.
Dating profiles: your questions
What should I write in my dating bio?
A good dating bio covers who you are, how you spend your time and what you’re looking for, in about 50 to 100 words. Use specific details rather than adjectives, be honest about whether you want a relationship or something casual, and end with a question or an easy way to reply.
How many photos should you put on a dating profile?
Three to five photos is plenty for a dating profile: a clear, smiling face shot first, one full-length photo and one or two of you doing things you enjoy. Make sure they were all taken in the last year or two.
What should a mature woman put on her dating profile?
A mature woman’s dating profile works best when it sounds settled and specific: a recent smiling photo, a line about family if it matters to you, what fills your week, and what you’re looking for now. There’s no need to explain a divorce or apologise for your age.
What makes a good male dating profile?
A good male dating profile has a clear photo of his face, smiling, at least one picture of him doing something he enjoys, a few specific details instead of a list of adjectives, and a plain line about what he wants. It skips the gym selfies, the sunglasses and the photo holding a fish.
Should you say you want something casual on your profile?
Yes. Saying you want something casual on your dating profile saves everyone time and helps you meet people who want the same. Keep it suggestive rather than explicit, and on Encounters.uk look at Casual Encounters, the adult section for fun with no strings.
Put your new profile to work
Join the section that suits you, add your photos and say hello.